Lost & Found
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You heard about the guy needing a new brain? Started looking at the samples sitting in their jars. How much for that one he asked. Oh, that one is 6 million. What! That is unbelievable, why so much? It was from a doctor who was very healthy, religious and moral. OK, then how much for that one over there? 2 million. I can't believe that , look, it has some flaky parts, shady and bruised. Well, that one is a fine specimen of a lawyer who made a decent living, only cheated on his wife, taxes and at cards. Well the man was beside himself. Finally he found a moth eaten, tattered little brain about the size of a walnut sitting in a jar of alcohol. How much for that one? 30 billion. Why? It is the worst example and in horrible shape! The Doctor looked at the man and said it came from a climber. So, why so much? The Doctor said, "Do you have any idea how many climbers we had to go through before we found one with a brain?"
You know you are in trouble when you hear........."Hey, which one is my brake hand?"
What's the difference between a Climber and a Golfer?
Golfer goes: Whack, Shit! Climber goes : Shit, WHACK!
A man's wife asks him to go to the store to buy some cigarettes. He walks down to the store only to find it closed, so he goes into a nearby bar to use the vending machine. At the bar he sees a beautiful woman and starts talking to her. They have a couple of beers and one thing leads to another and they end up in her apartment. After they've had their fun, he realises its 3AM and says, "Oh, shit! It's so late, my wife's going to kill me! Have you got any talcum powder?" She gives him some talcum powder, which he proceeds to rub on his hands. Then he goes home. His wife is waiting for him in the doorway and she is really pissed off. "Where the hell have you been?!?!" "Well, honey, it's like this. I went to the store like you asked, but they were closed. So I went to the bar to use the vending machine. I saw this great looking chick there and we had a few drinks and one thing led to another and I ended up in bed with her." "Oh yeah?" She grabs his hands, which are covered with white powder, and screams, "You liar! You went climbing again!!!